Steven used to live in Texas before he made the move to Yorkville. Now he temps to pay the rent, prioritizes working on comedy over human contact and generally shuns all things physical that require going outside.

He and Claire met and started dating in college. He pretends she's lucky to have him but knows he's blessed that she puts up with him.

Chris is the most loveable, happy-go-lucky person you've ever met. He likes science, photography, brisket and walking around his apartment without pants on. Oh, and Britain! He thinks that "Black Adder" show is just swell.

As for all the special ladies out there that are too put off by his charm and good looks to approach him, he wants to invite you to "sit on his cue ball and spin."

Claire does it all: musician, activist, actor, feminist, writer, environmental enthusiast, photographer... She's better than you but she's gracious enough not to bring it up all the time.

She's glad to have Steven by her side while she traverses the wilds of Yorkville, but has long since grown tired of his insistence that farting on her is "charming."

The Two Idiots, aka Cunty & Dumb-Dumb are terrible, terrible people. They moved with Steven from Texas to Yorkville, at which point they turned into nasty, hateful, vengeful little beasts. They take their own shortcomings out on Steven.

The Two Idiots have taken over the apartment with sheer size and trashy belongings. Steven is currently a prisoner in his bedroom.