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Take That, You Fucking Writer

Posted: 01.31.06

Grasping at Straws

Posted: 01.17.06

Dying People Say the Darndest Things

Posted: 01.17.06

29 Steps The New Kids on the Block Will Take to "Get to You Girl"

Posted: 01.08.06

Skills to Master Before Applying for "Project Runway"

Posted: 01.08.06

The Old Man on the Train Was Spouting Off Again

Posted: 10.28.05

If I Was a Ninja

Posted: 09.28.05

Beating the Rapture

Posted: 09.23.05

Businesses That Unsuccessfully Mix Modern Services With An Old Timey Theme

Posted: 09.23.05

Fun Things To Say To a Lady With a Baby

Posted: 09.14.05

Things I Learned This Week From Riding Public Transportation

Posted: 09.07.05

Slippery Slopes

Posted: 09.04.05

Things I Learned This Week From Being Unemployed

Posted: 08.16.05

Things I Should've Said

Posted: 08.15.05

A Letter to My Alumni Newsletter To Remind Them That I, Unlike Another Recent Graduate, Have Not Been Arrested For Soliciting Sex from Minors

Posted: 08.12.05

All the Jews Called In Sick

Posted: 07.11.05

Dakota Fanning: A Timeline

Posted: 07.05.05

Little Known Spells

Posted: 06.28.05

Conversations I Might Have, If I Was Invited To the Weddings of Former Friends from High School

Posted: 06.27.05

Things I Learned This Week From Reading Magazines

Posted: 06.15.05

A Short Guide To the Major Tenets of Intelligent Design

Posted: 06.12.05

My Letters Answered By Future Me

Posted: 05.18.05

Personal Activity Pyramids, Revised

Posted: 05.10.05

Melancholy Mother's Day

Posted: 05.05.05

No More Submissions Please, We've Settled on America's Funniest Home Video

Posted: 04.25.05

A List of Useless Similes

Posted: 04.24.05

No One Thinks Suicide Is Funny

Posted: 04.12.05

Respect the Cunt

Posted: 04.11.05

recent features peg leg
Here is the final resting place of the "Peg Leg" oeuvre (my comedy magazine from college). I'm in the process of typing up all the articles from the hard copy. Pardon my mess.
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